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Aging, gay and a dad, but not on another planet after all

Mai 27, 22
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Aging, gay and a dad, but not on another planet after all

What with all the recent news about Juno visiting Jupiter, Zane, Aidan, Papa and I worked a jigsaw puzzle depicting the solar system. As usual, I assembled the border while the boys pieced the planets together one at a time. Aidan worked diligently on Jupiter and Saturn, while Zane raced through the sun, Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars and the asteroid belt. Within an hour he had gotten as far as Neptune, and announced that we were done.

This guy was not only adoptive, but gay as well?

On , the International Astronomical Union announced that Pluto was demoted from planet to “dwarf planet,” joining Eris (a rock in the Kuiper Belt that claims to be 27 percent bigger than Pluto) and Ceres, an asteroid that had also been thought of as a planet.

Alas, poor Pluto! Think about being Pluto for a second: There you are, a full planet for 75 years, only to get a letter telling you that size indeed does matter.

Why do I care? First of all, Pluto was my favorite Disney character. Second, Pluto has a quirky orbit, which sometimes brings it closer to Earth than Neptune. Third, I grew up with the mnemonic “Mary’s violet eyes make John stay up nights proposing.” Now no one knows why John is staying up, leaving his nocturnal activities to the imagination of my all-too-imaginative 12-year old.

I can compromise and fit in Ceres and Eris: “Mary’s violet eyes can make John stay up nights eagerly proposing.” In this age of political correctness, I intend to teach my children that even large ice rocks can be planets too.

The following Saturday, there were soccer tryouts in Crocker Amazon park. So on a foggy summer morning in the outer, outer, outer Excelsior, the boys got their cleats and shin guards on and dragged me down the field.

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